“Happiness consists more in the small conveniences of pleasures that occur every day,
than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life.”
- Benjamin Franklin
~ my business is doing well...and i have a lot to do with that
~ lately hormonally i'm a mess - some days really angry...other days really weepy. today is neither of those days
~ my husband made it home safe again from a business trip. he is traveling a lot for this job. he doesn't like to travel and hates being away from home so much. he makes this sacrifice for us.
~ i had a spur of the moment coffee date with a very close friend of mine this morning. she gave me a 5 year journal. each day of the year asks a simple question. underneath the question are 5 blanks to fill in with your answer...one for each year. its such a cool book i can hardly stand it
~ my oldest son gave me a hug and told me he loved me simply because i found the earbuds i bought for him yet didn't find in time to put in his stocking
~ i made a simple soup of broth and mini pasta for dinner and ate it along with cocoa truffles
:: christmas eve brunch was not my shining moment this year. i woke up at 5:15 in the morning to go grocery shopping to buy food for the brunch. the eggs turned out rubbery and cold, the pancakes were overdone, the biscuits were from a tube and burnt and the potatoes were bought frozen from a bag! coffee carafe broke as i was filling it with water. no mimosas even though i had both the juice and the champagne (oh wait - we ended up just drinking champagne so i guess that worked out ok!) everyone was polite and ate and said it was good - b/c that is what family does and that is all good.
:: while i didn't get to make christmas crackers this year as i had planned - i was able to hide the pickle for the kids....well that is my 18 year old nephew in the front of the tree still searching...so maybe its not only for kids afterall.
:: after breaking 2 glass pickle ornaments my youngest son decided to sew one that was sure not to break in the future. my niece found it and is proudly showing off the new unbreakable pickle.
:: christmas eve is huge at my mom's house. all us "kids" gather in the living room. here everyone is answering the questions my husband and i have written for our family feud game to be held at our new year's eve party this weekend
:: one of our 2 trees. this one is fake and is downstairs. i keep it b/c i bought it off my friend's grandmother. she was getting old and didn't want to deal with it anymore so i gave her $35 for it. every year i think of her and the years of happiness she had around this tree. funny thing is - i've never even met her.
:: this one is real and is upstairs. it stopped drinking water for some reason and didn't get decorated until christmas eve morning. i think its so pretty though - whatever type of tree it is......
:: magically on christmas morning mushrooms appeared on the branches. if i knew how to use my camera i could have taken a nicer picture of them.
:: deciding what to prepare for tomorrow's brunch - do i cook the same things i've been making every year? the food i can prepare while on autopilot? or try something new? something i'll have to think about, slow down for
:: drinking coffee that lately has been upsetting my stomach - and knowing its time to switch to tea for awhile
soft and fuzzy
:: remembering that the reason the table is cluttered is because i spent the night gift wrapping with my son - who declared many times how much fun he was having
:: admitting that a stress-less morning with time to enjoy and focus on family is much better than trying to figure out how to make stratta for the first time
:: anticipating the excitement the next 24 hours will bring
recently i went out with some high school friends. our last stop of the evening was to a local brew pub. there we met a very high energy waitress. in between yawns and droopy eyes we asked our waitress how she had so much energy at that hour of the night. she told us that she usually gets her second wind around this time. at 2am she goes home and meets up with her boyfriend - who bar tends - and because they are so wound up they stay up until 4am just eating and laughing and playing until they finally crash. then around noon they wake up and start their day.
when she finished telling us her story i sat there quietly
i found myself envious of her youth
longing for her freedom
do i want to be 21 again?
i like where i am right now.....married 18 years today - two kids - in my 40s
but doesn't it sound like fun to come home at 2am?
full of energy?
not planning further than eating the bag of Cheetos in front of you?
i had planned to compare what i did last year on this date to what i am doing today. turns out I didn't have a blog post for this date. i was doing...nothing. well, actually i was doing a lot but i can bet you anything it had nothing to do with Christmas......or preparing for Christmas.
i had started working full time last fall and i was overwhelmed....very overwhelmed. decorating for Christmas was the furthest from my mind. blogging even further.
so i had to go back 2 years to see how exactly i was preparing for the holidays. i was making christmas crackers. not crackers the food - but the kind you pull apart - and if you are lucky enough - hard enough to hear the "POP" that occurs right before the litte treats that are inside come flying out. come to think of it - i'm not even sure we made them at all last year b/c i had simply run out of time - or energy - but most likely both.
but that was then - and this now. i plan to make them this year. i do hope to make them this year. only time will tell.
just about two weeks left
i catch myself in moments of panic
afraid i'm going to run out of time to make Christmas simple
doesn't that sound odd - not having the time to create a simple celebration?
as i look around myself at this moment i notice its too bright
too many lights are on in the house
too many tvs are blaring
video games are too loud
step one could be simply turning off some lights
and turning down the noise
light a candle and play some soft music
it doesn't take a lot.........to keep it simple
i am trying to be slow down and be present this season - really i am.......the slowing down seems to be the hardest right now...but every day is a new day and a new chance to try.
a new tradition has become this year's favorite one
in awe of all those geese
so proud of the gnome he sewed himself
in an effort to simplify the holiday
i chose to capture the spirit of the season
through pictures and a few words
join me tomorrow as i begin again. this time around it will be much more of a challenge to blog every day. my life if more hectic than it was 2 years ago. last year i feel like i missed the entire season. i blinked - and it was gone.
i don't want to miss it this year. my hope is that by slowing down enough to take a picture - i will slow down enough to enjoy the moment.
the anticipation is what gets you out there
picking your path based on how much time you have to spend. some days your time is short - you can't go very far. other days you can take your time - you allow yourself the luxury of getting lost in the journey.
you find you don't even think what obstacles you will encounter along the way. the excitement of what you might find overshadows your fears of possibly not finding anything.
but you do reach your destination. you've made a new discovery - about your surroundings perhaps, or about the journey you took to get there. it was thrilling!...this path. you want to leave your mark behind - yet the fear of being forgotten grips you.
you begin to wonder if what you left behind is worth anything.
will anyone want what you offered?
is it good enough?
was it worth you being here in the first place?
you may never know in this lifetime. many are never told.
the lucky ones - they know.
they were told.
doesn't everyone want to feel like they matter?
but i'm here to tell you that your treasure will mean something one day. even if you didn't think what you left behind was any good - just know that what you left behind
as insignificant as you think it is
as unimportant as you think you were
you were worth it to someone.
that is how many pictures i am uploading right now.
that being said - i look forward to the remembering and the writing and the pictures!! i actually sat down one night and googled how to use some of the features my camera has - like fuzzy backgrounds
then promptly forgot
we are home this weekend because my husband has a grueling work schedule at the hospital. i don't mind though - i have a lot planned for this weekend.
~weeding and planting my garden. i wasn't planning on doing it this year - but then i bought a tomato plant from my son's environmental club at school....and got some squash plants from freecycle...and my mil informed me she has some veggie plants for me.......so really how can i not start my garden this year
~organizing and decluttering. my house is a mess...and some rooms much more than the others. i'm not going nuts - but i will...no wait i WILL get them done this weekend. i am picking up a dresser from freecycle (freecycle has been my friend this week) and using it as a school/art supply center in my dining room. its badly painted in two shades of pink but who cares...its sturdy and should right in with a house full of boys.....
~pond clean up. i have a tiny whiskey barrel pond that was beautiful the first year...non-existant the second year (i let it run empty during the winter and it lost its water-tightness) but is full of
~laundry on the line. i am actually looking forward to doing laundry and hanging it on the line! i have one of those circular ones and first thing this morning i got it out and set up.
~hot yoga and spinning. a yoga/spin studio opened up near me. while i'm not a stranger to yoga - i have yet to try hot yoga...same with spinning. so since i'm home - i figure why not! i'm really looking forward to both!
~breaking out the ice cream machine! i am having a picnic on monday and figured homemade ice cream would hit the spot nicely. trying to choose which flavor to make is the challenge!
what are you planning this weekend?
|it ain't easy being green|
i'm finding that is hard being environmental when you are really busy. over the past 18 years we've made some pretty big changes in how we do things - focusing on trying to be more aware of our impact on our earth. i am really glad we started 18 years ago because many of the things we do are so ingrained in us that we dont have to think twice about doing it like bags - i have been using my own bags for so long that i just don't forget to bring them into the grocery story or drug store or mall. i just instinctively grab them when i leave the car. recycling too - i don't even have to think about it - jars get rinsed, boxes broken down, cartons smashed...all without thinking about it. but lately i find myself - when i am really overwhelmed or busy or in a major rush and i have a nasty jar that needs to be rinsed and recycled - tossing a jar into the trash. guilt takes over and i end up taking it back out and recycling it - but the fact that i threw it out at all bothers me! there are quite a few more examples i have. now, don't get me wrong - i haven't gone back to my old ways - but its just interesting that i found it easier to be green when i was a stay at home mom.
my son wanted a medieval theme. i was happy to oblige. i made tunics out of old sofa and loveseat slip covers. the shields were cut out of plywood with a wooden knob on the back. the sword was made of moulding. each boy got all three items and they loved them! i whipped up a bunch of medieval banners from scrap fabric i had. the one above was my favorite.
it was a beautiful morning and all the boys had a blast!! i was incredibly rushed this year and was afraid i wouldn't get everything completed in time - but i did and it was perfect!!
i have to admit - i'm still not liking the whole "working full time" thing. i knew i wasn't going to love it - i mean i was a SAHM for 11+ years - and i knew the time would eventually come when i would go back to work full time - and i was fine with that too. i mean honestly - with both my kids in school all day - i felt kinda silly being at home. don't get me wrong - i was working 2 days a week and i volunteered at school a lot the other days...but i did have plenty of time to do things at home - time that i took for granted...and time that i wish i had now.
most of the time i don't even think about it. but every once in a while i remember. when i walk outside and see the weeds growing between the patio pavers - i remember how i could spend a whole day or two - alone - in the sun - pulling them...then stepping back and admiring my hard work. when i drive by yards full of blooming daffodils and tulips - i remember that i had really wanted to plant bulbs last fall but i didn't plan my time well enough to fit it in to my days. and today...when i am certain that it will be consistently warm enough to hang out in our sunroom...and move my laptop into that room...and into my corner...and look out my window - i remember that when i have done this every past springtime i am able to glance out the window and right down into my little newly planted garden. but not this spring. my table is in the same corner. my little lit beeswax candle is on the window to my left. my pretty little ikea hanging light is over the laptop.......but my garden hasn't even been started.
but as with everything else i've learned since last october - i've learned to accept it...it is what it is. i'm sure there are people out there like me - the ones who don't always know a good thing until its gone...and now that a lot of my free time is gone it helps me appreciate the time i do make for myself all the more. i'm gonna be honest - my garden was nothing to crow about. i'd start off strong and by the end of the summer it was a disaster! but still - i loved getting the soil ready - planting the plants - and watching things START to grow. the upkeep was a major fail for me. but now- now i want to try again. i want to make the time because i know how precious the free time i have is and what better way to spend it then alone - and quiet - and working.
so yes - while i don't really like what i've had to give up to date - i do really like why i've had to give up so much of my time. i enjoy the work i do and the business we've started. i like noticing the free time i have and deciding what i want to do with it and OWNING the decision i've made.
i was in the life is good store this morning buying a present for my son's birthday...and as i read all the shirts i felt very grateful for that time i had taken. while its true you don't know what you've got until it's gone....it's never too late to find it again.