but why are you cringing? b/c parents are being blamed or b/c kids are being called monsters........
it is so easy to label our children as good or bad. it is even easier to label someone ELSE'S children as good or bad. you eat your veggies - what a good boy! you don't want to go to sleep - why are you being so bad? i've done that to my kids. i've done it to my nieces and nephews (for the record only the ones that are like my kids LOL). it wasn't done maliciously - it was almost done in a sing song way - mainly to get them to do something i wanted them to do. i know that isn't right and i've been really trying to avoid the good/bad adjective - but that's not really what i am talking about now.
its bad enough that kids call each other names........but i believe its so much worse when adults call kids names...big names like misfit, loser, rude.............monsters. before kids i was a full time teacher....and believe me there is plenty of kid bashing in the teacher's lounge. since kids i've been involved in their schools....and believe me there is plenty of kid bashing in the parking lots too. i don't like being in a conversation when a kid or kids are being bashed. if i find myself stuck in this situation i find myself sticking up for the child - either finding a positive trait about him/her or pointing out that its hard being a kid or whatever else i can think of at that moment. most times that halts the bashing - either b/c they see i am not joining in or maybe b/c i've given the speaker something to think about.
i feel bad b/c i really believe that its not the child's fault that he or she is acting out or bullying or stealing or engaging in whatever negative behaviour they are engaging in. i believe that if a child is acting in a way that is negative - parents should take a moment to see what they are doing - or NOT doing - to cause their child to act out in that way.
i think about the times my boys act out....and i'm not talking about the once in awhile acting out...i'm talking about the times i find myself asking "what is his problem lately??? why is he being so bad all the time???" that is when i stop and look at what I'VE been doing lately............am i on the computer too much? am i fighting with my husband? am i depressed over my weight? usually the answer is yes - i am doing one or more of those things.........and thus completely ignoring my boys simply b/c i just don't want to be bothered with them.
in today's society there is texting and facebook and email. there are broken homes and affairs and loneliness. there is unhappiness and dissatisfaction with oneself. for every happy family you can name - i'm pretty sure there are 10 unhappy families you can also name.
"just let me finish watching this show"
"not now honey i'm on the computer"
"i'll play as soon as i am done here on the computer"
i guess i am focusing on the computer b/c i have found myself saying just those things......and you know what? i didn't always play as soon as i was done online - i was actually happy when they walked away and found something to do - giving me 10 more minutes...........
when i first started reading blogs - i made myself so depressed. here were blogs of women who can craft like i dreamed of crafting - with beautifully decorated homes filled with vintage items and handmade crocheted curtains. it was horrible! i even mentioned it as a facebook status - something about not knowing whether these blogs inspire me or depress me! so one day i sat down and decided where i wanted to be in my life right then....and at that moment crafting wasn't it. i wanted to be inspired to stop and smell the roses. i felt like i had gotten to a point in my life where i had forgotten how to do that. i wanted to read about women focusing on their children. read about daily trips to the woods and packing a picnic lunch for a playground. i wanted to see pictures of pretty blue tableclothes covered with mason jars filled with candles surrounded by plates of food picked fresh from the garden............these were the things i wanted to be inspired by. so i deleted my list of craft blogs and focused on the blogs that fit this bill. part of that list is still here in my blog roll - women that i visit everyday.
and you know what - i WAS inspired and i wanted to do these things - and suddenly i started DOING these things. i enjoy writing and taking pictures (and seeing the other blogs opened up a whole new way of taking pictures for me!) so i started my own blog b/c that was the perfect way to do both. i was just telling my friend cindy again - when i write i just pretend that i am writing to a whole slew of my peers and it makes it easy. do i think i have a whole slew of women reading me daily - hell no! i know cindy reads me and even then most times i have to remind her that i added a new post!! but that is ok - b/c my writing the posts that i do keeps me in check and helps me find the good in my days. do i sometimes plan a shot or an event with the perfect blog post in mind? sure. but that's not a bad thing at all! so many self help books will say in order to be happy or be thin or be successful you have to act that way....and sometimes at first you have to pretend you are that way.......but then eventually you won't be pretending anymore. and that is where i feel i am heading as compared to the person i was when i started! i dont want the negative blog b/c that is not what i want to remember from my day. keeping the focus on the postives brings more positives.
so i love reading the blogs i do. i love seeing a new way to photograph a scene - or set a table - or take a hike. and know what - i feel like i've rediscovered that part of myself and i don't need to find that side anymore. in fact - i find i am being drawn to craft blogs again. it is like i am ready for that new stage in my life. and i'm excited by that! my craftroom is being cleaned. i am planning projects...and i bet soon enough i'll be posting more about the different things i've made.
so am i depressed by blogs anymore? absolutely not. i am grateful for the inspiration and i crave it. my only goal in life is to keep trying and keep improving....and the women i read daily help me do just that.
my eating is crap. i'm a vegetarian - i love veggies, love greens, love beans, love grains!!!! i could be the poster child for vegetarianism! but nope - it's been highly processed - hfcs laden crap for me lately and i feel it.............everywhere. i'm sluggish, i'm overweight, i'm weak.
i'm 41 and holy cow the womanly changes that occur are wigging me out!
its winter and lack of daylight and cold days that keep me inside depress me
add to that the fact that dh is still unemployed and i'm trying to get my stuff together to get on the sub list in our district.........so that stress is being piled on.
all that makes me a less than patient mom and that saddens me too
but - the only thing that doesn't suck right now is my attitude. while i may have my moments - overall my attitude is optimistic. i'm grateful for that gift - the gift of hope. i like being a "glass half full" person. but sometimes a positive attitude isn't enough. its time to get my rear in gear. being positive is not making my thighs any smaller - my muscles any stronger or my motivation any.......um.......motivating?
so its time - and i'm making myself accountable by posting here. i am changing my eating. i am going to exercise and get outside at least 15 minutes every day. i am going to limit my daily computer use too. last year during Lent i got online only once a day. it was a hard 40 days but it was an eye-opening 40 days. even though i wasn't on a lot - being online more than once a day sucks a lot of life out of you. so i am going back to only once a day online....well except for the 2 days a week i am at work. i am going to nurture myself. heather is giving a week of ideas that are wonderful!!!!!
well not really - but its been in the 40s and the low 50s the past couple of days and it sure feels that way! my husband and i took the opportunity friday afternoon for a quick hike before it was time to get the boys. we are very lucky to have a state park across the street so we grabbed our boots and off we went.
i'd like to keep this blog separate. i just feel weird posting happy times and family crafts one day - then discussing disaster and sadness the other! but i'll still use this to link over when need be!
i am so excited to be starting this initiative! this is the the first step in my desire to do mission work oversees sometime in the future (after my boys are grown and out on their own!)
finally - i was looking at a vision board i created last year and right there in the bottom right corner was a whole section of mission work pictures - images i was drawn to and wanted to see manifest themselves into reality.
looks like now is the time!!
i rushed the boys out the door b/c we were late. they chose which coat to wear - which shoes to put on - which hat they wanted on their head........
in haiti they don't have these problems. their problems are on a much grander scale. they can't fight with their children........b/c their children have died. they can't offer a choice for lunch....b/c they have no food.
it is heartbreaking to think about the people whose lives have been wiped out or ripped apart.
please consider donating to your organization of choice. there are many out there from which to choose. Care is one such organization. find one you are comfortable with and help if you can.
times like this i wish i could do more than just send money into cyber space. i wish i could organize some type of collection - but for what? and where would i send it? how do you decide what they need? what you can offer? wouldn't it be great if we us bloggers can work together to set up a collective collection in our homestates? if anyone knows of anything like that - please let me know. maybe we can start together from the ground up.
this year the boys made the decorations.
here is the murderer. it was our birthday present to her.
sometimes you can't find an 8 candle - so you have to improvise
.....soon it was time to ring in the new year. the adults found themselves in front of the tv watching dick clark's countdown
while the kids had a very loud parade......
maybe next year i'll pass out the noisemakers seconds before the countdown......not 30 minutes.