this pretty much sums it up................

this is how i feel lately. 

my eating is crap.  i'm a vegetarian - i love veggies, love greens, love beans, love grains!!!!  i could be the poster child for vegetarianism!  but nope - it's been highly processed - hfcs laden crap for me lately and i feel it.............everywhere.  i'm sluggish, i'm overweight, i'm weak. 

i'm 41 and holy cow the womanly changes that occur are wigging me out!

its winter and lack of daylight and cold days that keep me inside depress me

add to that the fact that dh is still unemployed and i'm trying to get my stuff together to get on the sub list in our district.........so that stress is being piled on.

all that makes me a less than patient mom and that saddens me too

but - the only thing that doesn't suck right now is my attitude.  while i may have my moments - overall my attitude is optimistic. i'm grateful for that gift - the gift of hope.  i like being a "glass half full" person.  but sometimes a positive attitude isn't enough.  its time to get my rear in gear.  being positive is not making my thighs any smaller - my muscles any stronger or my motivation any.......um.......motivating? 

so its time - and i'm making myself accountable by posting here.  i am changing my eating.  i am going to exercise and get outside at least 15 minutes every day.  i am going to limit my daily computer use too.  last year during Lent i got online only once a day.  it was a  hard 40 days but it was an eye-opening 40 days.  even though i wasn't on a lot - being online more than once a day sucks a lot of life out of you.  so i am going back to only once a day online....well except for the 2 days a week i am at work. i am going to nurture myself.  heather is giving a week of ideas that are wonderful!!!!!

i am also giving the green smoothie challange another shot.  and i am posting it all here for awhile.......

so there!  God willing i have another 40+ years left to live - years that i have total control over.  i have one body.  i know there will be ups and downs - but i am determined to always look up when there is a down and not give up.  i always tell my husband that i have faith that one day i will kick myself in the ass and get back into shape........lets hope its this time ;-)

on a side note - check out the Hearts for Haiti update on blanket donations!

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