this morning i stumbled upon julia's post about glimpses - which led me to nicola's post about fitting in and what really struck me as interesting (and i'll admit made me sigh with relief) was that the blogs i visit daily and inspire me are written by women who Still struggle with wondering if they fit in or not. i assume that happens with newbie bloggers like myself - but i really thought that once you've been around the block and have developed a steady list of followerers - that your insecurities would lessen.
when i first started reading blogs - i made myself so depressed. here were blogs of women who can craft like i dreamed of crafting - with beautifully decorated homes filled with vintage items and handmade crocheted curtains. it was horrible! i even mentioned it as a facebook status - something about not knowing whether these blogs inspire me or depress me! so one day i sat down and decided where i wanted to be in my life right then....and at that moment crafting wasn't it. i wanted to be inspired to stop and smell the roses. i felt like i had gotten to a point in my life where i had forgotten how to do that. i wanted to read about women focusing on their children. read about daily trips to the woods and packing a picnic lunch for a playground. i wanted to see pictures of pretty blue tableclothes covered with mason jars filled with candles surrounded by plates of food picked fresh from the garden............these were the things i wanted to be inspired by. so i deleted my list of craft blogs and focused on the blogs that fit this bill. part of that list is still here in my blog roll - women that i visit everyday.
and you know what - i WAS inspired and i wanted to do these things - and suddenly i started DOING these things. i enjoy writing and taking pictures (and seeing the other blogs opened up a whole new way of taking pictures for me!) so i started my own blog b/c that was the perfect way to do both. i was just telling my friend cindy again - when i write i just pretend that i am writing to a whole slew of my peers and it makes it easy. do i think i have a whole slew of women reading me daily - hell no! i know cindy reads me and even then most times i have to remind her that i added a new post!! but that is ok - b/c my writing the posts that i do keeps me in check and helps me find the good in my days. do i sometimes plan a shot or an event with the perfect blog post in mind? sure. but that's not a bad thing at all! so many self help books will say in order to be happy or be thin or be successful you have to act that way....and sometimes at first you have to pretend you are that way.......but then eventually you won't be pretending anymore. and that is where i feel i am heading as compared to the person i was when i started! i dont want the negative blog b/c that is not what i want to remember from my day. keeping the focus on the postives brings more positives.
so i love reading the blogs i do. i love seeing a new way to photograph a scene - or set a table - or take a hike. and know what - i feel like i've rediscovered that part of myself and i don't need to find that side anymore. in fact - i find i am being drawn to craft blogs again. it is like i am ready for that new stage in my life. and i'm excited by that! my craftroom is being cleaned. i am planning projects...and i bet soon enough i'll be posting more about the different things i've made.
so am i depressed by blogs anymore? absolutely not. i am grateful for the inspiration and i crave it. my only goal in life is to keep trying and keep improving....and the women i read daily help me do just that.