a year ago tonight........

i found myself sitting at this very computer

on the eve before december 1st

and i wrote up this post

there are definite similarities between last year and tonight.  both nights i came home to dirty laundry, dirty dishes and dirty bathrooms.  school papers covered my table then..and looking around me now i find more of the same.  and yep - my calendar is quickly filling up with appointments, events and parties.

i'm glad that some things never change

i found myself reading and rereading last year's post.  i sounded so overwhelmed...so stressed out...so - not fun.  i had just come home from new york - spent a great weekend with my family and our friend - caught up in the hustle and bustle, high energy spirit of manhattan - and yet i wasn't happy.

so what happened between then and now?  then i was only working 2x a week.  now i am working full time.  then my husband worked for someone else.  now we are running our own business.  then we wondered how we would pay for it all.  now - well now we really wonder how we will pay for it all!  then i was assuming that i'd blink and christmas would be over! now - i am assuming i will have just the peaceful season i want.

  

i'm glad some things do change

i wish i knew exactly why i am in a better frame of mind this year.  if i knew - i'd write a book and make millions!  but i don't know.  maybe its yoga.  maybe its being used to letting go of my expectations - and just enjoying the ebb and flow of the unknown.  maybe its the seemingly endless stack of self-improvment books that find themselves on my nightstand!  maybe i am finally learning to be present.  i don't know what it is.  what i do know is that i like it.  i like it a lot.

so tonight

as i did last year on this night

i will finish my tea

and i will go to bed.

and tomorrow will be another day

and if i'm lucky

it will be a peaceful night

without thoughts