how to prepare for a nor'easter

we are supposed to get hit with a blizzard tonite.  as is the case in my part of PA - everyone runs to the supermarket to stock up on milk, bread and eggs.  this always strikes me as completely silly b/c quite frankly the roads are prepped for the snow and they are usable literally the second it stops snowing!  but whatever - it is funny to see people panic like that.

we have a different way of preparing for a blizzard.

gather the sleds onto the front porch......

make sure there is plenty of firewood..........

fill the birdfeeders........

then simply hunker down with a couple craft projects - a good book and some brie.....

bring on the snow!

the untraditional journal

i love journals. 

i keep a written one.  i have my blog.  i keep notebooks in my bags at all time. 

simply - i just like to jot down things.

one of my favorite journals is one people take for granted

they are discarded at years end and replaced without a thought

with today's technology many people don't even have one

its my day planner.

i found that every year i just couldn't throw it away and i didn't really know why.

so one day i had my collection all ready to toss into the recycle bin

then i started flipping through the pages....

and there it was

my year in review - a biography of my life

birthdays, anniversaries, doctor's appointments

mission trips, volunteering at school, afterschool activities

meetings with the midwife

dates of my c-sections

mno, pedicures, date nites

anniversary trip to mexico, family weeks down the shore,

camping with friends

a chronicle of friendships - one year they were so important you wrote down their birthday

other years they didn't make the cut

when i go through periods of thinking how boring my life seems - i take down my datebooks and just skim through some of them.

a life full of births, deaths, one full of activities and learning, vacations, family outings, holiday gatherings

is hardly boring 

(edited to add:  does anyone with blogspot know why i suddenly have underlined words that highlight ads??????????  i didn't add that feature and i don't like it!)

monday's memory

i remember...

warmth

this week is going to be very cold with maybe some snow on friday.

its the first day of february - still plenty of cold days ahead 

i remember it wasn't cold here

and i didn't wear boots all week

and there was no room in this glass for marshmallows

what do you do when the lights go out?

roast marshmallows over the fire

if you don't have a fireplace - a candle works too

find as many candles and flashlights as you can

and play dino monolopy jr until the lights come back on.......

who are these parents raising MONSTERS???

are you cringing?

i did

but why are you cringing? b/c parents are being blamed or b/c kids are being called monsters........

this morning on good morning america i watched a story about a 15 year old girl from MA that committed suicide b/c she had been cyber-bullied. during the story they flashed to a townhall meeting where parents had gathered to discuss the situation. a number of parents stood up to voice their concern. one man in particular stood up and yelled something along the lines of "who are these parents raising these MONSTERS??" to which he received cheers and applause....and the story continued.  the final comment made by the reporter was something like "and one parent stood up and said to remember that these really are good kids"  .....phew.

it is so easy to label our children as good or bad. it is even easier to label someone ELSE'S children as good or bad. you eat your veggies - what a good boy! you don't want to go to sleep - why are you being so bad? i've done that to my kids. i've done it to my nieces and nephews (for the record only the ones that are like my kids LOL). it wasn't done maliciously - it was almost done in a sing song way - mainly to get them to do something i wanted them to do. i know that isn't right and i've been really trying to avoid the good/bad adjective - but that's not really what i am talking about now.

its bad enough that kids call each other names........but i believe its so much worse when adults call kids names...big names like misfit, loser, rude.............monsters. before kids i was a full time teacher....and believe me there is plenty of kid bashing in the teacher's lounge. since kids i've been involved in their schools....and believe me there is plenty of kid bashing in the parking lots too. i don't like being in a conversation when a kid or kids are being bashed. if i find myself stuck in this situation i find myself sticking up for the child - either finding a positive trait about him/her or pointing out that its hard being a kid or whatever else i can think of at that moment. most times that halts the bashing - either b/c they see i am not joining in or maybe b/c i've given the speaker something to think about.

now don't get me wrong - i'm no innocent. sometimes i find myself in a conversation with a close friend or relative and i'm blowing off steam or upset about a situation and suddenly realize that i am bashing a child.........but once i make that realization i stop...but then i usually feel real bad.......

i feel bad b/c i really believe that its not the child's fault that he or she is acting out or bullying or stealing or engaging in whatever negative behaviour they are engaging in. i believe that if a child is acting in a way that is negative - parents should take a moment to see what they are doing - or NOT doing - to cause their child to act out in that way.

i think about the times my boys act out....and i'm not talking about the once in awhile acting out...i'm talking about the times i find myself asking "what is his problem lately??? why is he being so bad all the time???" that is when i stop and look at what I'VE been doing lately............am i on the computer too much? am i fighting with my husband? am i depressed over my weight? usually the answer is yes - i am doing one or more of those things.........and thus completely ignoring my boys simply b/c i just don't want to be bothered with them.

in today's society there is texting and facebook and email. there are broken homes and affairs and loneliness. there is unhappiness and dissatisfaction with oneself. for every happy family you can name - i'm pretty sure there are 10 unhappy families you can also name.

its a vicious cycle - adults are unhappy and in an attempt to find happiness they are distancing themselves from their kids.

"just let me finish watching this show"

"not now honey i'm on the computer"

"i'll play as soon as i am done here on the computer"

i guess i am focusing on the computer b/c i have found myself saying just those things......and you know what? i didn't always play as soon as i was done online - i was actually happy when they walked away and found something to do - giving me 10 more minutes...........

i am not implying at all that adults can't take time for themselves. in fact - i am saying that it should be mandatory that adults take time for themselves! when i go out for a mno or take a class for myself - i come home HAPPY to see my kids and wanting to cuddle and kiss them. when i lose myself online - without REAL interactions - i'm not so happy........just like some adults need the quick pat on the back or immediate praise that facebooking or twittering gives - kids need the same attention.  it doesn't take a lot to make a child happy.  just give them 5 minutes of undivided attention to listen to their recap of their favorite show -  and you'll see how smoothly the household runs.  do i think that simply being present with your child and giving them attention is enough to solve all the bullying problems?  will it solve all the feelings of lonlieness in a parent?  well i feel like i should say no - b/c there is no black or white answer - but i honestly feel it will make a HUGE difference. 

so before you call a child a monster - take the time to stop and remember that if you look behind every monster - you are most likely to find an evil scientist working the controls......

let the race begin!

its pinewood derby time! this was our first year involved in it and we had NO idea what to expect.  we knew it was a big deal - lots of competition - lots of complaining about the dads doing all the work - but we did our best....

both my boys made a car but only my youngest was in the actual race.  his is the bottom tank car. 

we did the cutting of the wood for him and he did the painting.  this is actually the second paint job.  as i was giving him the colors to apply - i gave him white last........and it was bright.  so when he walked away for it to dry - i tried to make it less bright by applying a bunch of colors on top of it.  eventually it looked like a big ole mess - so my husband and i decided to just repaint it all green and have e start over.

big mistake

poor e came in and just cried and cried that we had decided that it didn't look nice b/c he thought it looked perfect just the way it was

sigh

he was absolutely right - it was his car.  after much apologizing by us - he repainted it and luckily was just as happy with his car the second time around.  major lesson learned by us parents.

he came in 32nd place out of 64.  smack dab in the middle!  we were very happy with that!

they gave away awards for design.  one was for most patriotic.  there were only 2 army tank cars in the race...the other boy's won

the other boy's car looked like his father did the paint job

i guess that dad didn't learn the same lesson we did

i tried not to show my annoyance with that

but e didn't care

b/c he still got an award for participating

and then i didnt care either

guess that makes 2 lessons i learned that nite

fitting in? or this is what you get for reading so many blogs.......

this morning i stumbled upon julia's post about glimpses - which led me to nicola's post about fitting in and what really struck me as interesting (and i'll admit made me sigh with relief) was that the blogs i visit daily and inspire me are written by women who Still struggle with wondering if they fit in or not.  i assume that happens with newbie bloggers like myself - but i really thought that once you've been around the block and have developed a steady list of followerers - that your insecurities would lessen.

when i first started reading blogs - i made myself so depressed.  here were blogs of women who can craft like i dreamed of crafting - with beautifully decorated homes filled with vintage items and handmade crocheted curtains. it was horrible!  i even mentioned it as a facebook status - something about not knowing whether these blogs inspire me or depress me!  so one day i sat down and decided where i wanted to be in my life right then....and at that moment crafting wasn't it.  i wanted to be inspired to stop and smell the roses. i felt like i had gotten to a point in my life where i had forgotten how to do that.  i wanted to read about women focusing on their children.  read about daily trips to the woods and packing a picnic lunch for a playground.  i wanted to see pictures of pretty blue tableclothes covered with mason jars filled with candles surrounded by plates of food picked fresh from the garden............these were the things i wanted to be inspired by.  so i deleted my list of craft blogs and focused on the blogs that fit this bill.  part of that list is still here in my blog roll - women that i visit everyday.

and you know what - i WAS inspired and i wanted to do these things - and suddenly i started DOING these things.  i enjoy writing and taking pictures (and seeing the other blogs opened up a whole new way of taking pictures for me!) so i started my own blog b/c that was the perfect way to do both.  i was just telling my friend cindy again - when i write i just pretend that i am writing to a whole slew of my peers and it makes it easy.  do i think i have a whole slew of women reading me daily - hell no! i know cindy reads me and even then most times i have to remind her that i added a new post!! but that is ok - b/c my writing the posts that i do keeps me in check and helps me find the good in my days.  do i sometimes plan a shot or an event with the perfect blog post in mind? sure.  but that's not a bad thing at all!  so many self help books will say in order to be happy or be thin or be successful you have to act that way....and sometimes at first you have to pretend you are that way.......but  then eventually you won't be pretending anymore.  and that is where i feel i am heading as compared to the person i was when i started!  i dont want the negative blog b/c that is not what i want to remember from my day.  keeping the focus on the postives brings more positives.

so i love reading the blogs i do.  i love seeing a new way to photograph a scene - or set a table - or take a hike.  and know what - i feel like i've rediscovered that part of myself and i don't need to find that side anymore.  in fact - i find i am being drawn to craft blogs again.  it is like i am ready for that new stage in my life. and i'm excited by that!  my craftroom is being cleaned.  i am planning projects...and i bet soon enough i'll be posting more about the different things i've made.  

so am i depressed by blogs anymore? absolutely not.  i am grateful for the inspiration and i crave it. my only goal in life is to keep trying and keep improving....and the women i read daily help me do just that.