8 days til christmas - last minute shopping.....

10 days til christmas - mom's nite out gift exchange

the 12 days til christmas - a photo countdown

i am joining kyndale at earthy crunchy in spending the 12 days til christmas posting simple pictures without lengthy posts as a way of capturing the beauty of the season - thus allowing me the opportunity to focus on family, friends............and final preparations! enjoy!

dec 12th - (my 50th post!!!) the perfect tree....as told through pictures

dec 4th - city scenes

this past weekend we spent time visiting our friend in NYC. we are quite lucky to have a friend who lives in Manhattan (Roosevelt island actually) who enjoys having us come up and visit. the boys loved taking the tram into manhattan in the morning and the subway back in the evening.

(look at that view from our friend's living room............)

because we've been to nyc quite a few times and have done the touristy stuff - i myself spending this trip totally engrossed in the daily scenes of city life....

i was constantly lagging behind everyone trying to snap a picture of this and that........

the hardest was trying to capture the colors in the subway cars without upsetting the passengers. how many people take the colors for granted? one side of the train was plastered with blue ads - the other with red......and these amazing orange seats right in the middle..........

people are still my favorite to shoot......i just can't figure out how to take pics without freaking them out. my zoom capability is pretty pathetic. so i basically keep it low and shoot up........

and then - of course - the city lights.......

as usual the trip ended too quickly. because we had an amazingly warm weekend - we did manage to squeeze in a lot of stuff...central park, times square, bryant park, the intrepid, museum of natural history, rockefeller center.....yet there is still so much to see.

this weekend we are visiting philly. once again i'm hoping to try and capture the scenes and the spirit of our own city.

italian belief - part 1: Mal occhio (the evil eye)

there are headaches - and then there are HEADACHES...the ones that just don't seem to go away regardless of what you do or what otc med you take. whenever we have one of those that don't go away - we ask mom mom to do "the mal occhio".

for as long as i can remember - i have believed in the mal occhio. i knew it was a really strong headache that you would get because someone was envious of you or admired you or just thought you looked so darn pretty that day. my mother would do her thing and poof it was gone. it wasn't strange at all - it was what it was. in fact - if you happened to think someone looked really pretty you would often say "i don't want to give you the mal occhio - but you look soo beautiful today!".

as i grew up and friends came over - i would get a kick out of them witnessing this ritual. it wasn't scary - maybe because we were so non chalant about it - but it was weird. i remember how surprised i was when one of my boyfriends not only believed it (he wasn't 1st generation american like i was) but practiced it in his family - and in english! i wanted to learn how to remove the mal occhio but he told me you could only learn on christmas eve at midnight......you know i have no idea whether that is true or not and come to think of it - i actually never even asked my mother if that was right! i guess b/c she is still around to do it i didn't feel the urgency to learn. we haven't done it a lot recently because there has been no need (maybe we get uglier as we age LOL) and if i do have it i just tell my mom - matter of factly - to remove it and its gone.

anyway - the other day my son was complaining about his headache - one that didn't seem to go away. because he has been sick i just assumed it was that or possibly dehydration...but then it occured to me maybe it was the mal occhio. we happened to be at mom mom's so i figured it would be great for the kids (my niece and nephew were there too) to finally witness this huge part of our italian culture.

REMOVING THE MAL OCCHIO

first pull out the biggest knife in the house. i wish i had my camera to capture the look of shock on his face when mom mom first went towards him with it! she says her little mantra - makes the sign of the cross 3x and repeats that - i think 7 x. if she yawns while she says her mantra - that is a sure sign of the mal occhio. i used to love to wait for the yawn!

next she pulls out a plate of water and repeats the process over it.


now she grabs some olive oil and drops 3 drops over the water. the first one just explodes and vanishes. the other 2 stay put and form the "eyes" that have supposedly given you the headache.

finally she takes the water - rubs some across your lips then yanks your bangs. i'm not sure if that is a necessary part of the ritual but it was funny to hear the person yelp from the yanking! as a child i'd squeeze my lips shut so i couldn't taste the olive oil and brace myself for the bang pull - such a fun memory!

this morning i decided to do a little research on this custom so see what it was about. it was interesting to see the slight difference between what my mother does and what the universal belief is. i assume each region of italy had its variations. the part about the amulet stood out the most for me because i remember once - at around 9 years old - i was helping my mom make the bed and we had to flip the mattress. when we flipped mine there was little red pouch pinned underneath mine. when i asked her about it she said that when i was a little baby i cried constantly...so much so that my mother asked her mother what to do. my grandmother had her send my onesie to italy where my grandmother brought it too the local "witch" who made this amulet for me. my mom swears that once she pinned it to my bed i stopped crying............

so - do i believe in the mal occhio?

as an educated adult i can see the science/psychology behind why it would work. if you believe your headache will go away - it will. the first drop of olive oil that hits the water spreads and forms a skin over the water that prevents the other drops from spreading too - causing them to stay put and form eyes.............

yet - when i have a headache that just won't go away - or just feels different - i go right to my mom to remove it. so do my non-italian family members.

but mainly i don't want to give this up. like i mentioned in this post i love being part of a family the is still so deeply immersed in its traditions and beliefs. as each generation passes the richness of the culture will become watered down versions of what they once were. i feel a strong responsibility to keep some of these traditions alive for my boys and their future families....and it is easy for me to keep the traditions alive because i am still deeply surrounded by it myself! but what happens once i am gone?

who knows that will happen then - but i know that until that time comes i am going to make sure i do whatever i can to make sure the boys are fully immersed in those beliefs and traditions. as for me? like the secret language i cherish - i am going to remain fully present and appreciative of the gift i've been given - the gift of a rich culture and a family still deeply rooted in its beauty.

Wordless Wednesday - Autumn at the Lake

outside my windshield

some days i feel like i am always in the car

driving here or there

following the same route

over and over again

country roads are hypnotic

most of the time i am driving on auto pilot

aware only enough to notice the squirrel darting out in front of me

or the beginning notes of a favorite song on the radio

main roads surround our country ones

and daily i find myself driving on them too

welcome to suburbia

while driving yesterday i realized that along my usual routes

are points of interest

places i always find myself looking

seeking out the beauty in the mundane

the break in the routine

some of the images aren't necessarily pretty

like this refrigerator in the middle of a yard

this is where i get my eggs

when my mom chicken's aren't producing as much

but i do love driving into this yard

i have no idea who lives here

i just leave money in a can and drive away

or this overpass

its a very dangerous curve

and everytime i go under it

i wonder who wisely wrote SLOW!

and how did they do it?

i look forward to these quick images

the ones i see through my windshield

its comforting to know they are there

waiting to greet me as i pass

sometimes it's best to ignore the big picture and a birthday wish for me

when day to day life gets rough - when the kids are too much or the bills are too high - when gossip is hurtful and anxieties are high....the advice most often given is to not sweat the small stuff.......don't focus on tiny problems - ignore the minor irritations......it doesn't mean anything in the whole scheme of things. most times that is exactly what one needs to hear...it is just enough to get through the problem and move forward.........

over the years i've gotten pretty good at looking at the big picture. i've been able to ignore the gossip and avoid the drama....all the while knowing that the friendships that remain are the ones worth keeping. i can endure the growing pains associated w/being a child b/c i see the wonderful, independent adults they will become. i accept the day to day "failures" as a woman, mother, wife...b/c i believe that the person who will emerge is stronger than the person who entered the journey.

but lately i've noticed that in my desire to rise above - i have been overlooking what's below - the here and now.....in an effort to see the big picture - i've ignored the little things.

today is my birthday. every birthday i make a list of resolutions for myself....things i'd like to accomplish in the upcoming year....physically, mentally and spiritually. this year however - i am stuck. i can't seem to figure out what i want to focus on. now, i'm not saying i'm perfect and therefore have nothing to improve. its different. its like i don't have the desire to plan ahead to the person i want to be. instead, i want to appreciate the person i am today.

recently, i took a walk around my backyard. it is huge, weedy, neglected mess. pennsylvania has had rain - tons of rain - for most of the summer. add to that a summer filled with trips to the beach and the mountains - camping weekends - biking........and well you can imagine what the yard looks like. the pavers of my patio are filled with weeds (oh and basil which is kinda cool LOL)......the perennials are overgrown and leggy. the veggie garden......lets just say i've been getting my bounty from the local farmer's market weekly. so...... i went inside and grabbed my camera. i made the effort to overlook the mess...and focused on the little things instead. it took no time before i realized that my garden - was in fact - amazing. flowers were blooming on the vines that climbed above the weeds. butterflies had found the bushes i planted just for them. eggplants (ok - maybe it was just one) had grown and provided at least one meal for the family.

then i thought about my life - when i take the time to notice the small stuff - i find i have a greater appreciation for the big picture.......when the boys squabble - they are simply defining their place in society and what a better place to do that then in a safe environment where they are free to rise and fall and reestablish! when i stop to capture a snapshot - physically w/a camera or mentally w/an image - i am creating a memory that is crisp and clear and more powerful of a time or situation - then if i just sorta noticed and vaguely remembered a time shot through the fuzzy lens of someone in a rush to see the future while ignoring the present........

so what is my birthday wish? continue in the present...take the snapshots...make the memories crisper.......that is the greatest gift i can give myself.

why blog? why now?

i remember when i first heard about blogs. at the time i could not imagine having something to write about that would be interesting enough to be read by others. therefore, i didn't give blogging another thought.......until recently. don't get me wrong - i don't think i now have anything interesting to write about - instead - what i have developed is a love of writing.

a couple years ago some friends and i took a very informal writing class. our writings stemmed from a variety of prompts given to us from our "teacher"...a term i use loosely here b/c really i don't think she was educated as a writer herself. she would say things like "red" or "i remember" and off we'd go. these "prompted" writings led to journaling which i would do quite regularly at times - and other times quite sporadically...but nevertheless - i'd find myself yearning to journal and really missing the times i didn't "find" the time to sit alone and write.

i have a close friend that i write to daily. most of our emails are silly. others are not. we can get pretty deep on a variety of topics - family, our kids, parenting, self worth...so on and so on. many times we've jokingly said that we should have our own website so that we could keep our emails forever b/c quite frankly we had alot of good stuff in them. lately our thoughts turned to blogging.

right around that time i stumbled upon some blogs that i really enjoy reading....from some pretty interesting women. besides the wonderful writings - i was struck by the photos that accompanied each post. photography is not something i've studied - but it is something i've really begun noticing lately. i have a simple digital camera that i use - nothing fancy. i upload and save on my harddrive. i've started making photobooks of the usual stuff - vacations, my kids...........but there are pictures that i take specifically to coincide with a thought or feeling in my head - that don't fit the categories of my photobooks..........

so - combine my love of writing - specifically journaling - and add to it my newfound love of phototaking...........and voila - i got the ingredients of a blog! it also helped cure a problem i had of having one too many journals going at one time. i love notebooks. i buy them whenever i go into a store. i buy whatever catches my eye - simple hello kitty ones to beautiful moleskin ones. each journal has a specific purpose. it is hard keeping them all straight - they never seem to be filled either....and they never seem to have a picture included with them. having an online journal keeps all my writings in one place and my accompianing photos. its perfect.

who is my audience? who knows. in my mind- i am writing to a large crowd of blogging peers...super hip women who love taking a picture - and adding words to it. women who don't want to bitch about kids or husbands - but instead want to capture beauty and share it.

in actuality - i am just writing to cindy - who is the only one who knows about my blog - and is probably the only one reading it.

and as for yak? that was my nickname in highschool............