pushing past the hard........

i am in a situation that i am unsure how to handle - or rather i don't know if i handled it correctly.

my son is 10 and is beginning the process to receive confirmation. he is supposed to go to a retreat tonite for all the confirmands. he came home from school adamant about not going. i told him it was mandatory. he continued to insist he wasn't going. i tried to reason with him - telling him that confirmation is about growing up and making hard adult decisions. if he really can't make this decision then he isn't' ready for confirmation. he flipped about that and said he is ready - he just doesn't want to go to this retreat. i asked him why the change b/c he was really excited about going when i first told him about it. his reason? he doesn't know anybody and it looks boring and its hard. i told him he has no problem meeting people and the purpose of this is getting to know the kids he'll spend 3 years with and that he does know them b/c they've been in his sunday school class forever. and plus the acitivites planned are fun!..............therefore that isn't a strong enough reason to back out. he wasn't changing his mind.

so i explained to him that once you start not doing something b/c its "hard" then it will get easier and easier to not do something simply b/c its hard. and that if he chooses to become that person that is fine - b/c there are millions of people out there who live their lives like that....and they are fine. but the people who succeed are those that push past the "hard".

i reminded him that it doesn't matter what person he becomes b/c we'll love and support him no matter what.

now here is the deal......

he is only 10 and much too young to know the type of person he'll be and he is too young to be expected to choose the type of person he'll become............i think

he has already quit baseball b/c it was hard - and now he wants to not do this b/c its hard........and the pattern worries me.

but again - he is only 10.............

i don't want him to quit and keep quitting...but is it too early to make that type of judgement? by quitting this - will that make him a quitter?

most importantly, i don't' want to guilt him into thinking he should be a person who doesn't quit.......b/c so what if he is......i am

yet at 41 i am constantly trying to NOT be that person............and you know parents want kids to learn from their mistakes!!!

sigh..............

so i have had my say with him. he is at soccer practice now. i am just letting it go now and not saying anything more unless he wants to talk more about it.

through all of this though i am grateful. i am blessed to have a mature (sometimes too mature) son for his age - someone i can talk to and reason with and know that he is understanding my point of view.....even when he doesn't agree with it. i am so grateful that i "have him" for 8 more years under my wing so we can continue to have these discussions....of course i hope he'll always come to me to discuss situations - but for now i know he'll be around awhile longer........

i know i don't have alot of followers - but if you are reading this - what is your advice/opinion...to me?